Once upon a love potion
by user-name-here
Summary: once upon a love potion...


**You thought wRONg**

* * *

"So tell me again, Hermione. Why exactly do you want to order love potions?" Fred smirked.

"To-oh shut up!" Hermione snapped as his smirk grew even wider. "to play a joke on Ron. It's a Valentine's day joke."

"Right. We're not as dumb you think," Fred said slyly. "Oi! George, can you believe this? Hermione Granger wants to put our dear little brother under the effects of a _love potion_!"

"Is that true, Fred?" George emerged from the Weasley's Wizarding Weezes storage room. "Does somebody _actually _like ickle Ronniekins? Hmm?" He elbowed his twin and they erupted into fits of laughter.

"I DO NOT LIKE BLOODY RONALD WEASLEY! You two are so damn infuriating!" She yelled, her eyes flasing. She composed herself, thinking of a way to corner those two idiots. Finally, after their laughing subsided, she said, "Fine. _Don't_ help me. I just thought you guys would not pass up an opportunity to embarrass 'ickle Ronniekins.' I thought you two _never_ turned down a prank."

She spun on her heel and quickly left the store.

That got their attention.

"Now, wait a minute, Hermione!" The twins called after her, as they stumbled out the door. "Wait!"

"Now, Hermione," Fred explained after he and George had caught up to her and stopped gasping for air. "Me and George-"

"_George and I,_" Hermione corrected.

"Well, the two of us were just having a bit of fun. You know us. We'd never let a prank slip through our fingers."

"How about we give you a bottle or two of our finest love potion?" George cut in.

Hermione smiled a sickeningly sweet smile. "Deal." They shook hands. "oh, and could you send it through your deliver or Filch will have me expelled when he finds them at the checkpoint."

"Consider it done." And with that the twins re-entered their store and she apparated back to Hogsmeade.

"Those bloody arses!" Hermione muttered angrily, as she appeared in the Three Broomsticks' bathroom. She continued her cursing as she made her back to an impatioend Ron and Harry. "Anyone with have a brain knows that I don't like Ron! Blood-

"Who doesn't like me?" Ron interrupted her cussing spree.

"I never said anything about you! Not everything concerns Ronald weasley! Hermione lashed out, fed up with the Weasleys and their stupid red hair, their stupid freckles, their stupid brains… their stupid everything.

"Well- I," Ron huffed, his neck and ears turning their trademark red.

Harry was quick to head off a fight. "Let's get back to the castle before it gets too late."

On their way back, Harry paused and looked at Hermione oddly.

"What?" Hermione snapped, still ginger form Weasley interaction.

"I just realized. You were in that bathroom for fifteen minutes. What could you be possibly doing?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'm a girl, Harry. You should know what girls have." Both boys blushed. Discussing the 'p' word was a huge no no for them. Glad of their reactions, Hermione continued, "Then I had this chat with Parvati and Lavender." She let out a very girly, un-Hermione-ish giggled. "Then-"

"Enough! Shut the bloody hell up!" Ron yelled. He covered his ears.

"Fine, but I'll just say one last thing. Lavender was talking about you."

Ron wheeled around and promptly asked, "And?"

Silence.

"What did she say, Hermione? Bloody hell! Just tell me what she said!"

"You told me to shut up. So I'm shutting up."'

Harry shook his head. He still didn't understand how girls' minds worked.

Hermione's POV 

The potions arrived the next day. Along with it came notes from Fred, George, Charlie and Bill, all saying that Ron wasn't worth my time and if we ever had kids they would commit suicide.

Bloody bastards. Why does everyone think that I like Ron? God forbid that I do. Ron is stupid and temperamental. He's the farthest thing from…him.

I was in the Heads Common Room, trying to find the best way to get the potion inside of my target. I couldn't just walk up to him and shove a flask in his hand and say "Hey, drink this." Too obvious. I had to have a half decent plan. I grumbled, spooning a mouthful of chocolate pudding into my mouth, only to choke on it, which is highly impossible. But then again, he makes me do- _feel _what I thought was impossible.

He had just stepped out of his dorm and into the room.

_Half naked._


End file.
